Comfort Zone~!
Where's my comfort zone? How do i find it? i need it terribly... just yi dian dian... yi dian dian and i will feel contented... i'm just too tiredz... tired of everything... i'm already at my max point... but i have no other choice besides going over it... it's difficult... and i'm learning.. learning to be strong, learning to think like those horrible creatures... learning to be complicated...
Sometimes i wished that we are born is a 'clean' world... no horrible creatures... everyone as pure as a paper... only nice bright colours are allowed on the piece of paper... everything tat's related to evil is banned... no more comparisions, no more back-stabbing, no more heartless pple...
Today is the worst day of the week... thou it's just the begining... bad experience to start a week like tat... manager threw all our face... got 'shoot' by some stupid attitude bank pple... is all because we aren't well-prepared... we probably knew what could be the outcome... but will still feel unbalanced somehow ya... my colleague and I just feel like digging a hole and head our face in it... yawnz... i think we just have to get used to it...
*HUGZ* >> return me one will u?
......~!
I cried... harder than i expected... didn't noe I really can't take it any longer... regardless of how mny times i've already narrated about the issues... i'm tired... tired of hving to go to work everyday... tired of my manager... tired of myself for not being able to protect myself... tired of myself for not noeing wat i wan in life... tired of mny mny things... can i really take care of myself? am i realli tat weak in everything?
i guess is juz not the stressfulness i get during work... bits n pieces were actualli frm my parents? i admit tat they've given mi much more freedom as compared to last time... and i've learned the good points of speaking up as times goes by... it realli helps ya... i can't blame them for anithing as they realli treated me well... juz tat i can't even tink of wat to study... i noe tis the most minimum thing they wan frm me... or rather my mum... she hopes tat i can upgrade myself... however do something tat i'm interested in... i'm rather glad tat they didn't actualli force me to study some boring IT degree course... *heez* but deep down i've a feeling tat they hope i can further my studies on music... coz they have put in tons of money to 'invest' on my piano thingy... i won't deny i like music... and i love singing... haha... but is classical music the path i want?
qns~! *reminds me of Destiny's child song... Qns~!... haha.. trying to le myself feel beta... don't worry crazy gal is slowly forming back to her bubbly-state... coz i feel tat i've bored my frenz to the death in my silence state... colleagues too feel funnie when i nvr tok during lunch... normally i will be quite talkative... coz was inside the 'jail' for the whole mornie... so have to excercise my mouth in order not to let my mouth sink and rot in the later stage... heez...
*Lene in healing-stage, the Final stage*
Pain~!
Am I facing another round of depression or isitz really my heart aches? Have been having this terrible feeling when i reached home yesterday nitez... While watching Jing Zhong Ren on Channel 8, i felt like crying... or rather i teared... and is not because the scenes touched my heart or watsoever... smthing is wrong wif me... i actually felt my heart aches; just the same feeling when one eats smting sour n ur whole body will somehow tense up? my heart felt the same too... cldn't sleep properly... haiz...
Harlowz~!
Is been awhile since i blog ya... if don't blog i think i will be 'shoot' by some regulars... heez... things have been the same... juz that i bought my whitey ipod shuffle le... cost me a bomb ya... now heart quite pain... heez... have to really limit my spendings for this month... for now can only comment it is sleek n very light... haha...
okaez here comes my weekly report:
Sat went ktv againz... have been wondering m i a ktv addict? hahaha... tis the 1st time i sang with abit bit of fear... have been trying to 'loosen' up the air... but still, i'm not quite up to it... seeing my fren in her down form wasn't at all easy... whether anot does the ktv makes a difference just hope tat both will gv each other some ample time to let things 'tide' down? aniwayz... just take good carez...
Recently was trying to ask myself wat i want in life... wat i realli wana do... and i found out sometimes is really good to dream ya, of coz not too over-board... but i'm the kind of people tat will at least day-dream once daily... hahaha... e.g. dreaming myself standing on the stage singing for thousands of people? or rather leading a life like tai-tais? or becoming a lady boss of watever shop? or looking draggy with my hair tied up; fringe in a mess; screaming on the top of my voice just to discipline my kids? or marrying a good husband tat will do ALL the houseworks on my behalf? or not having to work but rich like hell? heez...
Sounds ridiculous huh... so to conclude, i'm an unrealistic day-dreamer~ heez...
I'm still in the long weekend mood... have been doing my work in a slow pace which i rarely have the chance... trying hard to COMMUNICATE with my manager... can see that things are getting abit smoother... so didn't really regret i actualli flare up... hahaha... luckily is went to the better side of after-effect... if not i tink u will hear me out of job pretty fast...
cyaz~
ZERO-POINT-FIVE ;